Hey, my friend, what is up? And welcome back to another episode of Do Life Big today. I am actually coming at you with a special bonus episode today that I am doing on the fly, because I want to share with you something that I'm going to be starting that I've literally never done before. A little scared shitless about it, but I'm game. I'm up for the challenge, and I'm also hoping that some of you will do it with me. And no, I'm not going to try to sell you on anything. And no, this isn't going to cost you a dime. It's completely free.
Before I actually share with you what I am going to be doing, I want to give you a little bit of the backstory behind why I even decided that I was going to do this new challenge. So I have just come back from a two-day business event, and this was not just any old business event. I have been to, my god, multiple business events over the last 10 years of being an online entrepreneur, and this one was not like any other retreat or event I have ever attended. It was by far the most transformative event that I have attended, and it was all focused on mindset work, like deep, deep inner soul-searching work with a little bit of a spiritual touch to it. And the whole purpose of it was to be able to really dig deep into your inner self and dig up the blockages or the things that have been blocking you, but maybe you might not have known about these blocks, but these things that have been blocking you from preventing you from really playing full out and going after exactly what it is that you want in this life, really going all out for it, without any hesitation, going after those dreams and desires that we have.
And so I knew this event was coming up, right? And I was already nervous about it, because I'm like, ‘Oh shit. Like, the deep inner work, you know? I'm not gonna lie, like, sometimes it's painful to look within and look back at the past, right, and all of that. And so I was already feeling nervous, but at the same time, I knew that this was going to be really good for me, and so I'm getting ready to leave. You know, the kids are already at school, because all the kids are back in school now, and we have two dogs, and one of our dogs, Callie, she's a yellow lab. She hadn't been doing well now, because for the last two years, she's had this thing called a peripheral sheath tumor on her spinal cord, and we've known about this. It was there for two years, but we found out about it for the last like six months, and the doctor had told us, you know, there's nothing that we can do. All you can do is basically put her on pain medication and just let her live the rest of her life comfortably. She probably will only live an additional two months, but you know just, you'll know when it's time to put her down, because she will stop eventually wagging her tail. She'll start laying around a lot. Because what this does is, it paralyzes the dog. And now at this point in time, the, you know, Callie had already gone, like, six months, so she had already way surpassed, you know what this doctor had said. She was just swimming in the pool. She was eating. She was definitely limping a lot because it affected the nerve that goes down her back left leg. So that was looking awful, but she was still she seemed happy, right?
So I'm getting ready to go, and like I said, the kids are in school, and I'm getting ready to leave, to walk out the door for Nick to bring me to the airport. So I'm leaving, you know, Sarasota was going to be flying to North Carolina and then from North Carolina to California, which is where the event was, and she won't move, she won't get up from the ground, and she's just acting really lethargic. And that was really weird, because usually when she sees a suitcase, which I had, I was doing a little on, she goes berserk, and, you know, goes crazy and tries to come with you, because she's afraid she's going to be left behind…
And this is harder to talk about than I thought…
Anyways, so, you know, I finally go out to the kitchen, and she finally drags her body out there, and, you know, just standing there, staring at me as I leave, and like, she just stood there for a second, she wouldn't move, but she just stood there for a second, stared at me. You know, I walked out the door, I looked back like she turned around to go back to the bedroom. She looked back like, two times, but like, so slow and just so like, I don't know, you could just tell I was like, Oh man, this is really bad. And so, you know, I did say goodbye to her, just in case. You know, I'm also that type of person as well, too, who, you know, I don't want to, you know, put negativity out there into the atmosphere, like, I don't want to, like, automatically think the worst, because then it's out in the universe and what's going to happen and all of that. And so I was just like, but I should probably, you know, say goodbye, just in case, because you just, you never know, and if something does happen, then I'll have regrets that I didn't get to say goodbye and all of that.
So I leave, I get on my flight. I take off, I land in North Carolina, bought ready to board the next plane, and Nick calls me and tells me, you know we're gonna have to, we have to put her down. She's dying, physically dying, like, right in front of me right now. She, like, wouldn't stand, she wouldn't move, she wouldn't eat, she wouldn't drink. Her gums and tongue were turning completely gray. Her breathing was super slow and labored, and he was just like, there's nothing I can do. Like, I cannot, like, we can't hold on to her, like, anymore. Like, she's definitely dying, like, right in front of my face.
So I immediately, like, start crying in the middle of the airport, like, and I don't like crying in front of people. Okay, so I'm in the middle of the airport, there are tons of people around me because I'm literally about ready to board this plane. So now I'm crying, but I'm trying to be a little bit discreet about it, which isn't happening. I'm just filled with all of this, like sadness and just guilt and guilt, because I was like, I can't believe that I can't be there for this. I can't believe that I'm here alone, and Nick has to go through this now alone, and he has to go put her down to sleep alone and deal with the kids. And then I cannot believe that my three little kids have to go through this, and they were crying, and they were a train wreck, and they were like, Mommy, I want you to come home and mommy, I wish that you were here. And then I'm having all the guilt of like, oh my gosh, now I'm letting all of them down, and I can't be there for them, and they need their mommy. And all of this is going through my head as I'm about to board this plane.
So I board the plane, you know, I'm on the plane. I'm crying the whole entire way to California, thinking in the back of my mind, like, how the hell am I gonna go through this event for the next two days? You know, should I come home? What should I do? You know, I talked to my husband about it right before I got on the plane. I'm like, should I come home? And he's like, what's the point in coming home? Like, you're all the way in North Carolina now. I mean, I have to bring her now to put her down to sleep. You know, you had plans to go to this event. Like it's going to be, it's going to be okay, like, I have this under control. It's going to be sad and heartbreaking. But, I mean, there's nothing that you can do, you know, by being here type of thing.
And so anyways, I'm on the plane. I fly all the way there. I'm thinking to myself, this is going to be crazy. Like, I was already stressed out and nervous to go to this event because, you know, it's going to be a lot of deep, soul searching, inner work. It was going to be a lot of emotional work. And I tend to be the kind of person who just doesn't really want to show that side of me, to be honest. Because I'm the mindset mentor, I'm the mindset coach. I'm the happy, positive, confident, hype girl, uplifting, motivates you forever and always type of person, the sun is always shining. No matter what's happening, there's always a positive and optimistic thing to look for and be grateful for. And I was just so sad and felt so guilty and just like, What am I? Just not a good enough like mom. Like, mom, like, are my kids gonna remember me? Is like, letting them down during this time, because my two oldest children are 12 and 10, and I'm like, this is their very first experience where they're going through loss, where they're gonna actually remember and they like, get it, and now I'm not there for it. Like, what is their memory of this going to be? Are they gonna be like, Oh, mommy wasn't with me. Mommy was at work. And you know all that, this is all the things that are going through my mind. And so now I'm like, now I have to go to this event knowing that my dog was put down, which Nick was when he brought her to the vet. You know, they normally take the vitals no matter what. And the vet was just like, there's just, there's no point in even putting, you know, the vitals and going through any of that. But. Because, like, I can just tell that she's she's down to, like, her last few hours, like she's dying right now, you know. So they couldn't have held on any longer, as selfishly as I wanted them to just wait a couple days, like it was just not possible. Poor girl was really suffering.
So anyways, I get to California, and, you know, there's a time change, and I get up and I go to this event, and one of the very first things that we had to do, okay, was called eye gazing. Now I know this is a long story, but stick with me through this whole story, because this is the whole leading up to the reason of why I am committing to do this thing that I've never done before in my life. And I'm really hoping that you do it with me, but I really want you to hear the whole story so that you kind of really feel it and understand why I'm doing this and my reasoning for it. It's not just some like, fly by the seat of my pants decision, like, oh, you know, let's do this. There's a reason for it.
So I'm at the event, and one of the first things that we're doing is they want to do this thing called eye gazing. Now, have you ever heard of eye gazing? Well, neither had I, okay, maybe you have, maybe you haven't, but I hadn't, and as soon as I heard it, I immediately hated it. I immediately was like, I know I'm gonna hate this. What is this? What do you mean? Eye gazing. And so you had to pick two partners, and you had to know who your partners were going to be, and you were going to be working with one partner at a time. And what you were going to do was you were going to face each other, and you were going to stare into each other's eyes for three solid minutes without talking or saying anything or looking away. And the whole purpose of this activity was to bring you into the present moment, to allow you to be present and to allow you to develop a connection. And the reason for that is because, especially in today's day, no one's present. You know, you walk from here to the bathroom and your head is down in your phone, you go for a walk along the beach today like I was walking like soaking it all up. And I couldn't tell you how many people were just walking along the beach not even being present in the moment of enjoying the beautiful ocean waves and the sand in their feet, but they were just looking down at their phone. And so the whole point was to bring you and make you be present, to get you to really feel something and know what it's like to be fully present with no distractions and to help you develop a connection. Because connection is everything, and without connection, you have nothing.
I immediately was like, Oh, shit. So I have my partners. They have us both. Close our eyes. They tell us this little meditation thing, I'm a jiggy first, okay, whatever. Got it. Then they say, Now, open your eyes and look at your whatever partner. Now, mind you, I don't know these people. Okay, I open my eyes and I immediately start bawling, because I'm just like, Oh my God. Like, I cannot hide this. I cannot fake it. I tend to be that type of person where it's like, oh, you feel a little sad. That's okay. We're just gonna, we're just gonna put that aside for now. You know, we're just gonna shove that a little bit deep down. Nobody needs to know about that. Oh, you're upset. No, we don't need to show that side of us like everything's okay. And I physically was not able to hide that part of me, because the emotion of being so sad and guilty about what had happened was consuming me, and it was so present, and so I am bawling my eyes out. Now, remember, you can't hug the person. You can't say anything, nothing. You're just looking so here I am just staring, crying, crying, crying. But it was really crazy. Because, you know, at first I was like, oh God. Like, do I look ridiculous? Is she thinking, What is wrong with her? Like, what is this like? What is she thinking about me? Like, I must, like a train wreck, right now, right?
And then all of that went away, and I could just feel how caring and like kind and like comforting, like her stare was, and I could just tell that she was almost like hugging me through her eyes and saying to me, no, it's okay. Kathi, like, it's okay. Then I felt like I started to feel like a little bit lighter, because I was facing my fear of showing that emotion in front of somebody, not only just somebody, but, you know, a stranger, showing that emotion and knowing that, hey, like nothing bad happened. I'm still alive. I'm still here. I'm human, like, this is what you're supposed to do. You're not supposed to be a robot, you are supposed to show the feelings and feel them as they happen. And so I started to feel this weight kind of come off of me. And right as that one ended, they had us close our eyes again and get ready to turn to our next partner. And we had to do the same thing to the next person. And I opened my eyes, and I was still crying, not as bad as I was the first initial time, but I was still crying, and I and I was like, this pearl girl is probably like, what is happening? Like she opens her eyes and sees nothing but a train wreck in front of her, right? So I had to, I had to go through that.
And then we went through another exercise. It was a lot of like I said. A lot of really thinking back to what's your first memory of that time where you felt like you know you weren't good enough, or where you felt like you know you weren't smart enough, or you weren't you didn't have what it took, or you're not worthy of this, or you didn't, or you don't feel loved. I mean, all these different things. And so we had to do this one other assignment, that we had to do this, one other thing, where we sat in the silence for just two minutes, two solid straight minutes. And you know, I never do this. I don't know about you, but I never do this. I am never in the quiet. I work out and I have my earbuds in, and I'm listening to my music or like a podcast or audible or something. I'm driving in the car. I'm listening to my music. No matter what I do, there's something else going on in the background. And it was crazy to think that, you know, we just closed our eyes for two minutes. And you had to really just, if you felt your mind drifting off, you had to keep telling yourself, you know, just be present. Be here. Be here right now. Be present.
And I closed my eyes, and you had to whatever the first memory was of something that really stuck with you, that you feel maybe has been kind of holding you back, like what comes to your mind first, and, you know, I closed my eyes, and all I could think about were my basketball stories from back in the day. All I could see right were the stories and the times, because I played basketball my whole life, it was like who I was. It was like my identity, right? I started playing. I was in third grade. I played all the way up until high school. But I'm talking I was flashing way back to, like, you know, fifth, sixth grade, fourth, fifth, sixth grade, where, you know, you try out for the basketball team, for the traveling AAU team, and I didn't make it. And I remember going back up to my bed, running home, going to my bed, throwing my body on the bed, with my head in my pillow, and just crying my eyes out. My mom coming up after me to check on me. And in that moment, I made that kind of little story, mean, see, you're just not good enough, right? And then all these other little stories started to pop up in my mind, that kind of backed that belief of you're just not good enough. It doesn't matter how hard you try, you're just you're not going to be good enough. And I was a great basketball player. No one ever told me I wasn't. I mean, I was a great basketball player. I'd be in the newspapers all the time, high point scorers, trophies, all these things. I was a great basketball player, but I made these little instances mean that I wasn't good enough. And it's crazy how your brain works, because everything is just all how you perceive it to be. It's just perception.
And in those moments, I made those little moments mean that that meant that no matter how hard you work, or no matter how good you are at something, you will never be good enough, which then I discovered, translated into me thinking about myself in the subconscious, I'm not good enough. And I started to identify all these little stories of my throughout my life where I just kind of kept him there in the back of my subconscious. Never wanted to bring any attention to it, never wanted to pay much attention to it. You don't go around thinking, I don't think I'm good enough. Where poor me, like no one does that, right? That's the thing with these limiting beliefs, is that you can't see them. And you know here where I was thinking. I mean, I'm a mindset coach.
This is what I teach people what to do. Why can't I figure my own shit out, which I didn't really realize at the time, that I had my own shit to figure out, and so it was super painful to go actually go through it, as you can imagine, if you sit there and you actually allow yourself to go back in time and remember certain moments of your life that you've never forgotten, that have kind of just led left a little bit of a scar there, right? And basically the whole entire point of this retreat was to release yourself from that block, to get rid of it and remove it from you so that you could carry on and go after whatever it is that you want in life. And it was really crazy because, I mean, there's obviously a lot more to the story. God, I could do an episode on for like, four hours on this thing. One thing I did want to share, which is so crazy, is that when you're sitting there listening to everybody, because people are so brave to share. There are two, about 200 people there, and I'm obviously not going to share any specific stories, because I have to protect the cone of silence that we agreed to, which I'm totally a okay with.
But I will say this, every single person that I connected with and heard from, there was not one that did not have something, that did not have some kind of limiting belief, or something that was holding them back, whether it was I don't think I'm good enough. I never felt loved. I don't think it had what it takes. I'm not smart enough, I'm not a good at this, I'm not good at that, I'm all these different things. There's. One person, and you know what? There are really, really successful people in that room earning multiple millions of dollars a year, and it didn't matter how much income they were earning, it didn't matter how many hundreds of 1000s of followers they had. It didn't matter how popular they seemed or looked on Instagram or on social media. It did not matter how confident they appeared when they talked to you in person. None of that mattered. It didn't matter all the achievements, the houses, whatever it is that they had, you name it, it didn't matter every single one of them had something that was eating away at them inside, preventing them from really being able to play full out and go after what they want in life. And so it was really interesting to learn that, because sometimes when we're in this and we realize like, Oh God, I have this thought about myself, oh shit. Or you feel a certain way, you can start to think, what's wrong with me? Like, am I messed up? Or like, I don't want to share this with anybody, because people are going to think that I have a problem, or I'm weird, like I and then you feel kind of alone, because then you keep it to yourself, but that's one of the things that I learned, is that you're never alone. Everybody goes through this, everybody, everybody has something inside of them, everyone that is just kind of holding them back from really going after the things that they want in life.
And I was able to, thank goodness, like, release that after, I mean, we had two very long, deep dive Intensive Days, I'm talking from like nine o'clock in the morning till nine o'clock at night, with a lunch and dinner break, and that was it. And it was great, like I could have kept going, but at the end, I felt so light. And what was so crazy about it was because I tend to be that kind of person who never wants to talk about this kind of stuff, like I don't want to share it, like I don't have an issue, like I'm fine, like I don't have anything wrong with me. I'm great. Life is good. What are you talking about? So because I shoved all of that down for so long, I could feel my throat during some of the exercises getting so tight, like, super sore, really sore, and like stiff and like a lump in my throat, like I could barely talk, like I could feel it all in the throat area, and the more that I talked about it.
And then when we, when we ended it with this really nice meditation where we actually let it all out and let it all go whatever it was that was holding us back, it was the weirdest thing ever. Like, I'm not a meditator, okay, I don't do this kind of stuff. I really don't. I've only done this, like, maybe, like, a handful of times in my entire life, but when we did it, I completely had no sore throat after that, the sore throat was completely gone because I had just let it out. I had faced it. I acknowledged it. I wasn't shoving it down anymore. I showed people that side of me that I hadn't showed like anybody. I talked about things that I never talk about, and admitted to myself and figured out what my block was and was okay showing that to other people.
And on the flight home, it was the weirdest feeling, but on the flight home, so I usually, I love flying. There's nothing wrong with flying for me, like, I just, I love being up in the sky, like, and looking out the window and being like, wow, look at this beautiful world that we live in and there's so much possibility, and I'm just like, floating above the clouds and it always feels good to me, but there is always like, especially if I fly alone, away from my family, which I was this time, right? I always have this little tiny bit of anxiety and fear, like, tightness in my chest, and not like, a ton to be like, Oh my god, I'm gonna have a panic attack. Like, I hate this one this, when is this flight gonna get over? Like, I can't take this, give me the meds, not like that, but it's always there, just like, a little bit of tightening. And on the way home, I couldn't even put it into words, like I did journal about it. Actually, I was starting to put it into, you know, words, and journal about it where I felt so light I did not have one ounce of anxiety or fear or stress or anything tightening in my chest, flying home. And that was the first time ever that that has happened, where I literally felt light as a feather, like I was just floating home. Like I know it sounds crazy, but when you're present to how you feel, and you're present to your emotions, and you know how you usually feel when you do something and then you do it another time, you're like, oh my god, I can't believe that's gone. It's a really weird but good feeling, right?
So I came home basically, like a new person, you know, we had to name our inner critic voice who was telling me, like all my life, basically, back in myself, in my subconscious, that no matter what I do or how hard I work, it's never going to be good enough. You're not going to be good enough. Which sounds crazy to say, but everybody's got their thing, right? And it's not that I'm like, a negative person or anything, by any means, but there's that little voice there, and I named my little inner critic voice, Betsy the Bitch. So I left Betsy the Bitch way back in California. She's no longer here anymore. And when I came back from this event, I told my husband, I'm like, oh my god, this is awesome. I'm a new person now, like, I want to be able to I need to do something, and I really want to do something that's going to challenge me.
Here's where the challenge comes into play that I really am hoping that you will do with me. I'm like, I really want to see like, what is possible, what is possible for me, for how I feel, for my business, for my life, for my relationships. If, if I can, you know, really commit to something that will challenge me in a way that will help me be at my peak, for my mental performance, my physical physique, everything like, what if I got rid of everything that kind of would slow me down, and what if I filled my mind and filled my body with all the really good stuff, and get my mind in like, a super clear and present state so I had, like, really crystal clear vision, and, you know, extra determination and motivation for what it is that I want to do, and I really go at it and play full out without these dips. And I was like, You know what I'm going to do? I said, and you're doing it with me, because that's the thing. Every time I decide I'm going to do something, I say, Nick, you're going to do it with me.
So I said, we're doing 75 hard. Now, I don't know if you've ever heard of 75 hard, okay, but it's 75 hard for a reason, and I picked this one because I don't want to be a little weak-ass bitch, right? I'm sorry, but I don't, I don't want to let any of my dreams die. I want to know that I am playing full out and I am not leaving anything off the table. And so I have decided that starting on Monday, which is why I'm doing this bonus episode now, so that you can listen to it and do it with me. You know, I decided it's the perfect time of year to commit to this.
First of all, it's totally free. Okay, I'm not gonna sell you on anything totally free, but it's the perfect time of year to commit to you because, number one, the kids are all back in school. At least they are. For me, the kids are all back in school. And what's great about it is all of this I made sure is going to be complete before Thanksgiving, my birthday, Christmas and New Year's Eve, because I'm sorry, but I'm not going to give up my Captain Morgan, during the holiday season and my birthday, I don't want to I enjoy to have a drink. So starting on Monday, the 26th of August, I am starting 75 hard. And what this is going to entail is 75 days of a commitment, a commitment to number one, read 10 pages of a personal development or self-help book every single day. That's going to fill your mind with really good stuff, right? 10 pages every day, drink one gallon of water, then you need to follow some sort of a nutrition plan. Like, for me, it's not like a straight-up nutrition plan that I'm going to be following. It's more so like, I know exactly what I'm having for dinners because we do prepared meals, and I know exactly what I'm having for breakfast and lunch every day. I'm very boring. I do the same things every single day, but it's not going to be there's no fried food, there's no cheats, there's no desserts. You can't have any alcohol, and it's 75 days, so you can pick whatever nutrition plan that you want to follow, but there's no cheating and there's no alcohol for 75 days, then you need to take a progress picture, or a daily picture of proof that you actually moved your body and did the 2 45 minute workouts a day.
Now here's what it is I do my 45-minute at-home workout, and then the other 45-minute workout has to be something outside. So one 45 minute workout, the other one has to be something outside. It could be walking, could be riding a bike. It could be you're gonna rake the leaves. It could be whatever, whatever it is for you just something outside for 45 minutes, and you commit to this for 75 days. Seriously, can you imagine what would be possible if you actually committed to something, and committed to something like this and stuck with it like the discipline that would be formed, how clear and sharp and strong and confident your m
indset would be, how great your body would feel, the energy that you'd have, how good you'd look like. We could go into the end of 2024 feeling better than we did when we started 2024 and I'm really hoping that you do this with me, because I am going to have a hard time like I'm going to be truthful, it's going to be freaking hard. It's going to be hard for me. And I know that anytime that I'm faced with a challenge, number one, I know that having this accountability is everything, and so because of that, I set up a Facebook group so we can all be in it together, and we can all work together and cheer each other on, help each other out. I'll be putting some mindset stuff in there too to help us through it. It's going to help me out. Half the time when I do these things and I'm talking and doing these episodes, it's really me talking to me. So I'm going to do that.
And I also know that whenever I've committed to a challenge. Change. Only good ever comes from it. Only good ever comes from it. So I am really hoping that you will do this with me, starting on Monday, August 26, 75 hard, 75 days of discipline and just fueling our mind and body with great stuff so that we feel better than we've ever felt. And you know, we don't have any blocks holding us back. So if this is something that you'd like to do or you want more information about it, I will put this in the show notes, but you can go to kathireuter.com/75 and just fill out the really quick form.
And on top of that, you know, you can feel free to always hand me a DM on Instagram @katherinereuter, any questions that you have about it, but I really hope that you'll do this with me. I'm excited, I'm nervous. I'm not gonna lie, but I think it's gonna be really, really, really good, and I can't wait to see what's on the other side of it.
So thanks so much for listening to today's show. I know it was a little ups and downs with the emotions, but you know, it is what it is. It's real life. Gotta go through it, but I really appreciate you being here, and I appreciate you listening. If this resonated with you, please share it with a friend, or tag me on Instagram. I'd love to hear from you, and thanks so much for being here. You know I love you, and I think you're awesome. I will see you the next time. Bye.
