Hey, my friend what is up and welcome back to another episode of Do Life Big. I am so excited that you're here today. And I am just coming home from a two-day business event that I attended in Phoenix, Arizona, that my business mentor hosted. And it was absolutely incredible. No side note, if you own your own business, or are looking to get involved in a business, I cannot tell you how important it is to just get in the damn room with people who are going the same place you're going or with people who are leaps and bounds ahead of where you are that you want to get to. It's just a whole new level that helps you grow. It keeps you motivated, you get to network and meet new people get some great ideas of things that have worked for the people who are already where you want to be. And you can learn from their mistakes, and it is just absolutely mind blowing.
But I wanted to talk to you about this event. Because as you know, I'm a mindset coach and I help people work through the pain of their failures from the past. And I teach them how to reprogram the way that they think. So that way, they can accept themselves and have more confidence and happiness, to really just go after the things that they want in life and feel fulfilled. And as I was at this event, I was talking to so many different people like I literally made it a point to never sit with the same people no matter what table I went to right, which is actually kind of out of my comfort zone. But I'd go in for breakfast. And I'd sit at one table on one side of the room. And then I'd go from there into the actual room where the trainings were and I'd sit at a different table with a different group of people, then we'd come back out for lunch. And I'd sit on the other side of the room with a new group of people. And I did this for two days straight, purposely, so that I could push myself out of my comfort zone and meet and talk to as many new people as possible. These were all entrepreneurs, every single person at this event all 200 of us own our own online businesses.
And I noticed a common theme that I really want to talk about. And this is going to help you whether you own your own business or not. And I noticed this reoccurring theme when people were talking to me and they were sharing their stories, and they were sharing their journeys, and they were sharing where they came from, or they were standing up and sharing something with my business mentor in front of the audience. And it was that, this that most people are carrying around the weight of the failures of their past with them, the pain of it, the mistakes that they've made, the failures that they've had things that people have said to them in the past. And they're living with this guilt of not living up to their standards, or to their expectations that they have for themselves.
And the reason why they're not able to do that is because they can't let go of the weight or the pain of the past of something that has happened, something that didn't work out the way that they want it to a mistake that they made. And they're unable to really reach their true potential and go after the things that they want in life. Because in their subconscious, they cannot get rid of this weight that they're carrying from the past. And they're being really hard on themselves. It's kind of like they're their biggest bully. And I don't know if you can relate to something like this, if you can think of your own life of something that maybe you know that you need to let go of it. There's something from the past that it's over and done with but you just keep holding on to it in your subconscious. And it still bothers you to this day. And you don't start doing you any favors, right? But you just cannot seem to let go of it. And because these people, who I was talking to at this event, because they've been carrying this weight for so long, they're starting to have no physical health problems. So the pain of their past of the failures of the mistakes of whatever it may be has now manifested into, to physical health problems, I mean, they're having trouble with headaches, they're having stress, they're having back trouble, all these different kinds of illnesses are popping up, because of the way that this pain from their past is manifesting in them.
They're struggling with really just being enough. And then all of this that they've been holding on to, has really led them to not trusting themselves, and the ideas that they have, and the things that have been on their heart that they want to do. Because every time they come close to listening to their heart, and feeling pulled, to go toward what they know, deep down that they want to do, they lack the trust in themselves. And so they don't do it, we focusing and thinking back to the past, and remember this time when it didn't work out. And remember that time that I failed, or remember that time when that person said, you'll never amount to anything, they're focusing on those things.
And I noticed that they tended to be mostly people pleasers, perfectionist, and they were constantly just seeking validation from others, because they don't trust themselves. So they'd have an idea to do something. And at the end of the day, you have to listen to your intuition, you are the only one who knows what's right for you, if you have an idea that you want to do, that idea was put on your heart for a reason, and was given to you and only you for a reason. And if that idea was given to you, then that means that you are enough. And you should trust yourself enough to know that you have the resources and everything that you need inside of you right here right now to be able to go and have success with that.
But these people are questioning themselves, because they don't trust themselves. And then they haven't gone after what they truly want. And then they're beating themselves up over and over again, from the mistakes that they've made in the past or something that has happened in the past, they've pushed off the business idea. Or if they wanted to change directions in their career or their business, they felt unworthy of it and felt less than and felt that if they did it, it probably wouldn't work out Who are they to have this idea.
Just keep doing what you're doing. Even though you're freaking miserable, it's comfortable. It's what I know, that's a dumb idea, don't even think that that's never going to work. And then all of these comments and things from other people in their past that have been holding them pop up and keep them exactly where they are. And they know that they're playing small because of this, and they're aware of it. And they just want to be able to let it go. Because they're sick and tired of living this one life that they have not meeting up to their standards and expectations, right? So now they're settling, which is driving them crazy, because they can't let go of the weight of the past. And every single time that this pops up in their mind. They're aware of it, and they really want to make the changes to it. But then it never last, because they always revert back to their old ways, to their old habits, to their old ways of thinking. And now they have this heaviness feeling. And they, they want to have more fun in their life, they want to feel more fulfilled, they want to feel happiness, they want to be competent in what they're doing in in themselves. But if you don't fix this, then like I mentioned at the beginning, it manifests into illnesses and physical symptoms, like headaches and things like that.
So being hard on yourself is only going to lead to physical issues if we don't fix it, and you can fix it. And that's the whole reason why I wanted to do this podcast episode today. Because it's really easy to get stuck in the past even something that happened to you when you were a child. We were doing this guided meditation at the business event. And when I was younger, I mean, first of all, I've changed so much over the years. It's unbelievable. I'm sure you have to. But I was not that great at math. I really wasn't. I had to work really hard at it. Even when I worked really hard at it. I didn't do great. I was called out in class A teacher would save, you know, what are you stupid, I was the one who was getting pulled with a few other kids to go to the other room with the other kids who needed extra help. While the other smarter kids stayed in the main classroom with the teacher to do math, my dad would have to help tutor me like every single night just so I could understand this. I wouldn't bomb school. And the teachers would put like huge zeros on my paper. And it caused such a mental block and what I was capable of doing a mental block where I was like, You're just stupid, you're just an idiot, like you're never going to figure this out. And the mental block literally lasted from grade one all the way until I got to high school when I was finally able to work through it. That was a long time.
And it's crazy the impact that these incidents and things that people say to you can actually have that much power and control over you for so long. Because I was doing this guided meditation at the business event. And it was absolutely incredible. But I was doing this guided meditation and she was trying to take us on a timeline journey, basically from left to right. Where are you think about out some kind of problem, not really a problem that you're having right now. But like an obstacle, something that's an obstacle for you right now in your life. And she guided you through it to think about that obstacle, and imagining yourself getting on the other side of that obstacle, like their future self, you who's already overcome this? How would they handle this obstacle right now? And she had us reflecting on other things in our life, just like you can do as well, where you had this problem or this obstacle. And you may have thought, oh, my gosh, am I ever going to get through this like, this? Feels like this is just my life right now. I'm so consumed by it, right? But then you eventually work your way through it. And you learn a lesson from it, right? And you can look back at that now in hindsight and say, Okay, well, I know why that happened. This is what I learned from it. Now I can use this knowledge to help myself and other people in the future.
So as I was doing this guided meditation, I could not get this pathetic image of myself in like second grade out of my head, I just saw in my mind, this little eight-year-old, sitting at a desk, scared, worried, not feeling smart, lacking confidence, super insecure. And the thoughts were just running through my mind of, you're stupid, you don't even know what you're doing. And I had to work through that. And I have worked through that it's been years and years and years. But my point is, is that if you don't take the time to stop, and really think and pause and be aware, and think about why you're reacting certain ways, and what really is at the root of you not really going after what it is that you want, and you really get clear with it, and you get quiet with it and you think about it, then it's really hard to ever really address it and become aware of it and then change it. Okay. And so we all have that thing, we all have something that maybe we resent, maybe it's something someone said to us, maybe it's something someone did to us, maybe it's something that you did, or didn't do that you wish you had done the opposite. Maybe you have regret. Maybe you feel bad about something, who knows, it could be anything, there's so many different things.
But what you need to do in order to be able to go out there now, and really reach your full potential, and feel fulfilled, and feel truly happy with yourself and your life. And have that confidence is, number one, become aware of it, become aware of that thing that has had power and control and a hold over you for so long. That's the first step.
The second step is to then instead of beating yourself up and kicking yourself for what happened and blaming yourself and bullying yourself. Because that's essentially what we're being we're being our biggest bully when we do this to ourselves. And we're talking to ourselves so poorly about something from the past that we cannot change, we're being a bully. Instead of that, show yourself some compassion. And really start to understand that you are not your past, you were not that incident, you were not whatever that person labeled you to be, you are not defined by your past, your past is not a good indicator of what you are capable of in the future. And as soon as you can start to become aware, and just show yourself more compassion for it and accept it and move on and not let it have that power over you is the second that things in your life will start to change for you. You'll notice that those ways of thinking, those more abundant ways of thinking, those competent ways of thinking the having the power back over your thoughts in your life, are going to attract more abundant things into your life, it's going to attract more abundance, it's going to attract more of the things that you want in life, it's going to start to attract more of the right opportunities, it's going to start to attract more of the right people, you will be willing to take risks on things that you have ideas for instead of second guessing yourself all the time and wondering if it's going to work, you'll no longer be listening to that little bitch voice in your ear that tells you that you're not good enough. Who are you to have this idea. Just keep doing what you're doing, even though you're not happy, right? You will have so much more confidence and clarity in the direction that you're going when you learn to just face what has happened, accept it, show yourself compassion, and then be able to move on from it.
And the last thing I want to say about that is instead of looking back and blaming your past, which is what most people make the mistake of doing, they see where they are today. They see the things that they don't do or how they behave, the actions they take, and they blame their past. What I want you to do and what the secret is to really work through this is to actually thank your past. Look back at your past and think your past. Learn from your past. What is it that you can learn that you can take with you? That's how you learn to accept, have more compassion and move forward because no good is ever going to come from looking back, it's already happened. The only good that can ever come from looking back at your past is to remember the lesson that you learned even if it was a major shitstorm. What did you learn from that? What can you learn that you can take with you that can not only help you reach your full potential and live your best life, which goes by like, boom, we all know. But you can also use that knowledge to help other people. Now, every obstacle you've ever had, that you've had to overcome, you can help somebody else get through that same obstacle 10 times faster and easier than you did, because you've already been through it.
And so if you're someone who's really struggling with that, start there. You can also go, and you can also grab my free Think This Not That workbook, which I put together, which has about 19 of the most negative limiting beliefs that people think which 85 to 90% of your thoughts, day to day are negative, they're on repeat on autopilot in your subconscious. We need to change that we need to change that we need to reprogram the way that you're thinking with the thoughts that you're telling yourself. And that's what that free workbook will do. It will give you new, more positive empowering beliefs and thoughts to think instead. So that you can start to reprogram the way that you're thinking and get more of the results that you want in your life. Instead of it's almost like you're repelling what you want.
Everything that you think, everything that you see around you right now is a result of the thoughts that you've had in the past. And so if we're not liking what we see around us, and that can be anything relationships, money in the bank account, the job we have, the career we have, the business we're doing, how we look, physical appearance, our attitude, all of that is a result of the thoughts that we've had in the past, we want to change that. So you can live your best life, and you can be happy, and you can be confident. And everywhere you walk, you will just feel so much more aligned with where you're going. Because now you have that trust in yourself, you have that trust in yourself, you have that clarity of where you're going, no more second-guessing the things that you're doing. And lacking that trust in yourself and asking other people what they think you will truly be able to listen to that intuition. And you'll have that confidence in your belief in yourself. And then you won't look back and have any regrets, right. Because all those things that you went through in the past are all there to teach you a lesson. And it was all there to help shape you and teach you so that you can grow into the best version of yourself. So we don't want to blame our past ever. We don't want to point fingers ever. We want to take the responsibility on ourselves and improve every single day, small baby steps at a time.
So I hope that today's episode helped you if you loved it, share it with a friend make sure you grab that free Think This Not That workbook at kathireuter.com/thinkthisnotthat I will put it in the show notes for you. And I think that you're awesome. And you know I love you have an awesome day. You know, I love you. And I will see you the next time. Bye.
