Hey, my friend what's up and welcome back to another episode of Do Life Big. I'm so excited to have you here today. Let me tell you, it is back to reality over here. We just came back yesterday from incredible cruise on the wonder of the seas, Royal Caribbean. And it was so much fun, we had such a blast with the family and all of our friends. And now it's back to the grind. So here we are today, and I'm pumped to have you here once again, today, we're going to be talking about how to change your self-talk. This is something I'm so passionate about. It's so important. I want you to be able to get the things that you want in life, and I want you to be able to live your best life. And that is what I am all about and constantly striving to help others achieve. And so this is one of the most important topics right here is how we talk to ourselves. So that you can learn to start to accept yourself a little bit more. And then as you start to do that, then you'll be able to start to love yourself a little bit more. So let's kind of start right here with how we can start to love ourselves a little bit more because this kind of goes hand in hand with your self-talk and the things that you say to yourself internally on a day-to-day basis. You know, I have messages from people that come in, and I hear so many stories about, you know, what they failed that what didn't work out for them, what didn't go well, what they didn't do, what they should have done instead, how things should have been differently. And it's just a lot of constant beating up of ourselves, for the things that they're thinking in your mind all the time. It's just this constant bullying game, almost of I should have done this, I should have done this. Why didn't I do this?
Now listen, we know listen, life can be hard. Life is going to be hard enough as it is. Now we don't need to be talking to ourselves and treating ourselves so poorly like this on a day-to-day basis. And so we've got to work on self-love. Because self-love is what is going to build your confidence and confidence is going to be the driving force that's going to determine whether or not you go after the things that you want in life, or you don't. And if you're negative to yourself, it just hurts you. It hurts your self-confidence. So think about that Jenga game, right, we all know the Jenga game with all the blocks and you put the blocks in and when it's all put together nicely, right? It's nice and strong and solid. And when you start taking the pieces out, it starts to get a little wobbly, and it eventually collapses, right.
So when you start to speak positively to yourself and you start doing things that are more in alignment with you in your life, then you can start to do one piece at a time put that back on the Jenga stack to start to form that nice, solid, stable structure. But then when you start the negative self-talk and the internal bashing, each time that you do that, a piece of the Jenga stack is removed. So how you talk to yourself whether it's in a good way or in a bad way, it always affects the actions that you're going to take. And it also affects how you carry yourself in every single situation, every room that you walk into every person who you encounter or meet. Think about it, when you see a confident person walk in the room, you can usually tell that their confidence because of the way that they hold themselves, right? Think of that person or think of someone who you've seen before, you can just tell that they're confident they just have a certain way about them. I'm not talking about a cocky person that's totally different. But a confident person carries themselves and enters a room and approaches people with a different level of energy than someone who does not have confidence. And so just as you can start to see someone walk into a room who has this confidence, you can also tell when someone who is not confident walks into the room, you can see in their body language and how they interact with other people and you can also see you can also see and how other people interact with them. And this can also affect you in your relationships to this one. level of confidence because if you're someone who's single, for example, or you know you're divorced or whatever, usually an extremely confident person is not going to be attracted to someone who's not confident. Usually, they want somebody whose energy matches theirs because like attracts like, it's just the law of attraction. That's how it works. But again, this all comes back to self-love, and how you internally speak to yourself. And I want you just right now, just for a second to just I want you to imagine a child. And I want you to imagine a young child who is talked down to their entire life, they've had teachers or have teachers who tell them that they're stupid or dumb, they're not going to amount to anything anymore. Family members tell them on a daily basis that they're useless, they're unlovable, day in and day out. Most of the time, they're told that they're not going to amount to anything, right? How wounded Do you think this child would be? Well, if you think about it, obviously, they would be so wounded, because of all that horrendous bullying basically, that they would end up not taking risks, they would end up with lack of self-confidence and self-love. And then they ultimately wouldn't be able to go off and live the life that they want to live. So when you talk down to yourself, you're wounding yourself, just like that child is being wounded. There's no difference. You can't sit here and tell yourself, Oh, well, you know, it's different. I can't compare myself to a child, because I'm older. So I can handle the criticism that I give to myself, I can handle it, it's no big deal. Just let it roll off my shoulders. That's just not how it works. It's the same thing except the child can at least walk away from the abuser to the person who's making them wounded with all this verbal abuse, but you are your abuser if you talk negatively to yourself. And so we've got to change this. Now listen, if you're sitting here right now listening to this, and you're like, Oh, crap, I do really talk kind of shitty to myself. Sometimes I am kind of putting myself down. Or if people give me compliments, I never just say thank you. I'm always so quick to be like, yeah, yeah, right, you're full of shit. And you're beating yourself up again, don't shame yourself and beat yourself up about this. Because now you've become aware to this, that awareness is exactly what I want you to get. Because far too many people don't even have the awareness that they're doing this to themselves.
So it's okay, just let it sink in for a little bit. You don't deserve to be speaking so terribly to yourself, you deserve better than that. And I know you want to be able to live a life where you feel happy, and you feel good about yourself, and you're taking risks, and you're going after the things that you want in life. So that way, you can look back and have no regrets and know that you lived it to its fullest. But in order to do that, you need to have this awareness to change your internal self-talk, so that you're talking more positively to yourself so that you can start to attract more of the things that you want to you in your life. And you know, you would never talk to someone who you love the way that you talk to yourself if you're someone who speaks negatively to themselves. So why do we talk to ourselves that way? Right? You can imagine, imagine that your best friend calls you up and tells you that they're going through a really hard time right now. They're really struggling. What would you say to that friend? How would you support that person who you love and care about? What would you say? And probably the way that you'd support that person would look completely different from how you'd actually support yourself, right? Am I right? You'd give them so much love and reassurance and tell them that it's going to be okay, you're doing the best that you can take it one day at a time. But what do you tell yourself when you're struggling and you're going through a hard time, right? So you want to start to talk to yourself the same way that you would if someone you loved came to you, and they were struggling or going through a hard time. And one thing that you can go get right now that can help you with this, which is totally free that I don't know if you already have it or not. But I put together a completely free workbook, you can download it, you can go to Kathireuter.com/thinkthisnotthat and you can start to break this cycle of these negative thoughts, I have about 19 of the most common negative limiting beliefs that people think and what you can start to replace them with. So you can start to talk to yourself with more love, you can start to have more positive thoughts in your mind, then you can start to attract what you want more of in your life. So if you haven't got that, just go there, download it, and you can get working on that right now to start to break that cycle.
So what do you say when you look in the mirror right? Or you get out of the shower and you look in the mirror? Are you criticizing yourself and pointing out all of your flaws? Or do you sit there and say, Hey, you're doing a good job, you're doing the best you can. And I know I'm not where I want to be right now. I know I'm not where I want to be yet. But I'm improving and I'm getting there one day at a time. How do you talk to yourself? This makes all the difference. This is everything. So how could you support yourself the same way you would if a friend called you and needed support, because we all need a lot of support. And you need support and you need the support from yourself. More importantly more than anyone, is the support that you give yourself and the way that you talk to yourself. It's so important that you give yourself the love that you need, and stop looking outside for people to give it to you. What matters most is how you're talking to yourself on a daily basis. And far too often we're caught up in this comparison game, right? We're constantly comparing the things that we have, where we are in life, the amount of money we have, the type of friends we have, where we live, what we do for a career, how much we earn, how much money is in our bank account, how we look, all of that, we're caught up in that and we're living in and it's especially true with social media these days, right? But Comparison is the thief of joy. So you're looking at all these filtered bullshit people online, and you're comparing yourself to how they look. And then you're telling yourself that you don't look good enough. And you're telling yourself you have a fat ass, because you saw some Photoshop check on social media, or it could be some AI model, right? Like, there are people following all these AI model accounts right now. And all these people with these picture-perfect bodies, and they're everything exactly the way that oh my gosh, like the dream where you could have it be, and they're not even freaking real. And then we're comparing our human bodies to something that's not even real. Or maybe you're someone who you go to sit down to work on your business or get some work done, but then you procrastinate. And then you realize you're procrastinating, which you again, start to beat yourself up for. And then you start to scroll social media and you come across some person that maybe you knew in high school, who bought this massive house, or you see someone else who's traveling all over the place, and you're stuck at your shitty desk job that you can't stand. And it's just this constant comparison game, and you find that it's stealing your joy from life. And if that's you, then maybe you should take a break from social media, there's nothing wrong with that and see what happens, see if it helps you. So let's get better at accepting. Because where you are is where you are right now. In this moment, right now, nothing can change. But the only thing that can change is what we do right now from this moment going forward. And I do know, one absolute fact here that I can tell you, it's harder to get motivated, and go to the gym, and build a business and be a better person, when you feel like shit. And when you talk trash to yourself, it makes you feel like shit. And so if you're looking at a friend who's building a business, and then you're wanting to also go and build a business, but you're stuck talking trash to yourself, it's going to make it extremely hard. It's going to be really hard for you. Now, for a second, I just want you to think about how much better do you feel when someone says something good to you, somebody gives you a compliment. Everyone loves positive affirmations. Right? When someone tells you how much they love you or how proud of you they are. Or if they notice how hard you're working to try to improve in an area of your life. How does that make you feel, there's not a single person who would sit here and say that they didn't like that, because it makes you feel too awesome, right? Now imagine if you had that every single day. If you had that type of positive affirmations ringing in your ear every day, imagine if you had that one friend who was just positive affirmations in your ear all day long, how much easier it would be for you to actually take action and go for the things that you want in life. Now imagine that this person was you. Because it can be you. Remember, you are the main character in your life, you get to create yourself to be however you want it to be, you get to create your life to be exactly what you want it to be. So start to become very aware of how you're talking to yourself. Because what I've found with working with people is that their patterns of talking to themselves have become so normal that they don't even notice it anymore. They don't even realize that they're doing it. It's so natural, it's on autopilot.
In life, you're always going to get what you focus on. So if your mind is wired to focus on all the shift going wrong, then you will continue to get more shit. Because that's what your brain is focusing on. I can promise you that that is a fact. That's how it works. So force yourself to write down all the crap that's going on in your head. You want to get it all out of your head and onto paper because it makes a big difference. You need to be able to look at it and see it. So you can have the realization like, damn, this is really not good. I don't want to be like this anymore. And then take that ridiculous piece of paper, rip it up, and then freaking burn it. Then go and write down all the ways that you want to speak to yourself. All the things that you're proud of things you've done well, it could be anything it could be something from when you were in first grade, I don't even care every single little thing in your life about yourself and start focusing on all of that. And I like to call this your awesome list. This is your awesome list so that you can bring more awesomeness into your life. And I want you to start to see how things in your life will start to change for you. When you start focusing on all of those positive things and all those good qualities and all of the things that you've accomplished already, and all of the things that you've already achieved, and be proud of all those things, start to become aware of your thoughts. And then when you do, you start to shift the way you talk to yourself and you will want 100% start to shift the entire course of your life.
So I hope you enjoyed today's episode. You know, I love you. I think you're awesome. And I will see you the next time. Bye.
