Hey, my friend what is up and welcome back to another episode of Do Life Big. Really excited to have you here again today. Thanks for listening. Today I'm going to be talking about the main thing that is really holding most people back in life. Listen, the journey toward personal growth and transformation. Oh my god, there are so many strategies and tools and it can be so overwhelming. And so many times, when I work with people, they're always saying the same couple of things, Kathi, just teach me the strategy or teach me the secret sauce, you know, to basically like fix themselves or to fix the you know, their problem. But listen, if I'm being completely honest here, if you want that transformation or that growth, I think you need to get out of the way of doing and get more into a state of being. Now I'm going to explain a little bit more about this in a minute here. But you know, you're not a human doing, you're a human being. And it really comes down to the approach of using acceptance as a practice. Just being in a state of radical acceptance. Because acceptance is really the key to unlocking your freedom and your peace and your fulfillment in life, right?
Just learning to accept the way the world is learning to accept how people are learning to accept what's in your bank account. Trust me, I get it. I know this sounds basic AF and too easy. But we're going on this journey right now together. Okay, so you with me, I read this quote one time that Michael J. Fox wrote, and he has Parkinson's and he said, acceptance does not mean resignation, it means understanding that something is what it is. And there's gotta be a way through it.
And so when I talk about acceptance, I don't mean just accepting it and just doing absolutely nothing about it. Like, whatever it is what it is, I'm not going to do anything. But in some circumstances, you must first accept it before you can go on to change. And when I talk about this, it always reminds me of one of the prayers that my parents would say with us when we were little when I was a little girl. And it's, you know, the Serenity Prayer. But it says, God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Now, that's the part that most people know. But there's actually more to it. And then goes on to say, living one day at a time, one moment at a time accepting hardships as the pathway to peace. So think about this for a second. What is it that you're holding on to that you are allowing to have power over you because you're trying to possibly change something that you don't have the power to change? Right? What is that thing? Are you letting your whole boss ruin your mood every day? Is it something maybe that has to relate to your kids? What's currently disturbing you right now, and holding power over you? You know what it is? I'm sure it's popped right into your mind.
You know, this inner conflict is really just you resisting the way that someone actually is. You're allowing it to have that power over you, you won't be able to change it until you've accepted that this is how it is first. What is it that you need to accept right now? Really work on getting better at accepting reality. Trust me, I work on this too. I am not saying I'm perfect. I'm not saying I have this all figured out. I know it's easier said than done. Because most of us are control freaks. My God, am I the queen bee of being in control? So we are literally in this together. But we just need to get better at it. That's all it's not a big deal. Don't beat yourself up, get better at accepting versus trying to control and change everything.
So the first step in trying to do this is to accept that everything is happening exactly the way that it's meant to. Even if it's not currently what you want. It's the way it's supposed to be right now. And that is truly what I believe you can take on that belief if you want, but I truly believe that trust me, there are a lot of things that aren't exactly what I want them to be right now. But I trust that all is as it should be right now. And everything always works out perfectly as it should in the end, you know, I have proof of that happening throughout my life. And I bet you can think of a lot of times in your life to where you were so bent out of shape and stressed out about something. And you may have even said, you know, why is this happening to me, I can't do this anymore. It's so unfair, this isn't right. But then it ends up working out. And then when you look back on that time, now, now that you're through it, you can say, Oh, all right. All right. Now I get why that happened, the way that I happened, you know, I had the same thing happen to myself when I was trying for baby number three. And I was going through, you know, a whole entire year of miscarriages, four miscarriages, back to back to back. Why does this keep happening? Why is this so hard for me? I had no problem with the other two, why can't I just have a baby and carry the baby what is going on? And then a year later, right when my dad got diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia, I ended up getting pregnant. And I truly believe that it was just another little piece of the puzzle, to help my dad push through and have the positive mental attitude that he was going to survive cancer. And you know, that's why I call them both my miracle men because my dad survived his cancer. And I was able to have my last and final miracle baby Keegan. And so when I look back at it now I say like, oh, man, now I really understood why, you know, it wasn't the right time for me to have a baby, even though I really, really, really wanted one. It wasn't right. That wasn't the right timing. You know, when we went through that hard time, or we were had so much debt, about when was this this was about, jeez, 12 years ago now.
Before I started any of my entrepreneurial journeys, when I was home with the two little kids, and I wasn't working. And we were in massive amounts of debt just living off of one income. I mean, it totally sucked, it was so stressful, I could not get a coffee. You know how much I love my coffee. I mean, I couldn't do a freaking thing. Because we had no money, we had drained our entire savings account racked up $40,000 of credit card debt, we're sinking my $1,000 every single month, I did not want to go through that. But now looking back, I wouldn't be here to this day, with these businesses being able to have the impact to mentor so many other people had I not gone through that and overcame it on the other side. So I have a lot of proof looking back, that everything worked out perfectly, as it should, you know, you need to go through these hard times, so that you can grow into the person who you are meant to be, you want to be the best version of yourself, we've got to stop resisting and start accepting more. The problem is we want it to be different. And we want it to be different, like right now.
Can you relate to that? I mean, I know you kind of like just wanted to be different. Now I just want to change, right?
The second you know, we seek to short term. And, you know, not accepting reality as it is right now is a mental and just emotional block. And these blockages restrict us from having this free flow of life and truly just enjoying the journey of life. And if we don't get past these blockages, then you can't ever get past them to become the greatest version of yourself, you can only become the greatest limited version of yourself. So once you recognize these blockages, and then their impact, you can start to go, man, if I can actually start to just accept just a little bit more, maybe my life will be better. Because the problem is never really the circumstances that you're in. The problem is the way that you're thinking about the circumstance that you're in the thoughts that you have around that circumstance that you're currently in right now. The present moment is all you really have. But how often do we find ourselves in conflict between the present and what we want? Oh, God, I just want more money, dammit, I don't actually have enough money. I want to be in a better relationship and for them to be different. Oh, and then they don't change, they're still the same. This conflict creates so much internal stress and resistance. So we just need to get just a little bit better at accepting can you do this? I know you can do this. I know you got this. Listen, we're all working on this together. Like I know me and when I try to resist the way that things are, or the way that a person in my life is and I want to try to change it but I can't. All it does is like pissed me off beyond belief and caused me a ton of stress, right? Can you relate to that? But the minute that I'm like, Okay, this is just how this person is I cannot change them. And I'm not going to take all that negative energy and bring it on to me. Then I have so much more peace versus fighting against what is you know you're so powerful and we are taught this but you, why are you are so powerful? And when we use mental and physical energy to resist, then you block what you could create. And your mind has so many habits, it doesn't like change. That's why they say misery loves company, right?
You might be resisting and resisting putting yourself in the situation, that even though you don't want it, you're in it. And you're in it, because it's comfortable for you. So this resistance is just another pattern of your mind, you can change it. You know, I was saying this the other day to someone about how I like to try to fix things, can you relate to that, like a fixer, you have a problem, someone's sad, I want to make them happy. There's a problem with this, I got to fix it. And sometimes I just get so wrapped up in just fixing, fixing, fixing, fixing. And it's stressful because sometimes things are not meant to be fixed. And I had to remind myself that I have to be okay, sometimes just letting things be as they are, I have to be okay with letting it be a little messy. And a little bit of a shitshow sometimes and stressful, and maybe sad, whatever it is, I have to be okay with that.
So, start to challenge your thoughts, and remind yourself that, you know, this may not be what I want it to be, but I am trusting this process. So here's my challenge for you for the next 24 hours, I really want you to try to practice this, just radical acceptance for the next 24 hours. were literally every single situation. So when your boss comes in, and he's just a real piece of crap, hey, you know what, he's in a hole.
And he is who he is, don't get all caught up in his story and his bad attitude or mood, that's not for you to put on. And remembering that acceptance is really just like a muscle it is it gets stronger, the more that you work on it. And resistance is also like a muscle to and maybe your resistance muscles are stronger than your acceptance muscles right now. And that is okay. Because you're going to work on it, we're going to work to get your acceptance muscle to be stronger and to make your resistance muscle be weaker. So for the next 24 hours, I want you to accept your thoughts. I want you to accept your emotions, except your external circumstances, everyone around you, your bank account, your relationships, everything. And you'll be able to get rid of those barriers that you're creating and life will flow so much more effortlessly. So just practice this. And it will also help your mental and physical health to you'll be more free and it will just lead you to more growth. Because learning to accept and stop resisting is one of the biggest keys to your transformation. Listen, you got this and we're on this journey together. And don't forget to head over to Kathireuter.com/thinkthisnotthat to snag my free guide with a list of 19 of the most common limiting beliefs that people have, and how you can start to change those thoughts to more empowering beliefs. Go over there. Check it out. I'll put it in the show notes. But thank you so much for being here. You know, I love you. You know, I think you're awesome. I believe in you. And I will see you the next time. Bye.
