Hey, my friend what is up and welcome back to another episode of Do Life Big. Today's episode is going to be all about the power of words and specifically, the power of words that people use around you, and how to work through those triggers and not let them take control over you. So today's episode is going to be really powerful for you. If you've ever been someone who's felt like, Gee, like, what the hell? Why is it that that one thing that that person said to me really got to me? Why did it make me so angry? Why did it make me so upset? Why is it that I just can't let it go? And I'm continuing to hold on to this. And I'm just letting it ruin my day. So we're going to talk specifically about the words that people use around you. Because the words themselves can have so much power, but at the same time, they can also have no power at all. Listen, words only have power when you give them power. So, for example, when you say something to someone, it can either mean absolutely nothing to that person, or it can mean absolutely everything to them. So sometimes the words people can say will have no effect on you at all. Or they could say something that completely triggers you, and it completely sets you off. It could ruin your day. It ruins your week. You could keep ruminating on it for days and days. You know, why did that person say that thing to me? And you just can't seem to let it go. I mean, I'm sure that you've had a situation like this happened to you. We all have had situations like this happen to us. But have you ever really wondered, you know, why does this happen? Why is it that some people can say certain things to you, and it doesn't bother you at all. But then other people can say things, and it takes power over you, it takes control of you, why some words can have absolutely no power over you. It doesn't affect you at all. But then, some words, they have massive power over you. You know, why is that? And I'll get messages sometimes from people that are asking me, how can I not let what my husband or my mom or my friends say to me get to me? Like how can I avoid that? How can I not let these other people ruin my mindset. But here's the thing. It's not the person who ruins your mindset. They have no effect on your mindset. They didn't ruin your day, you've ruined your mindset, and you've ruined your day. It's kind of like if someone came up to your face and said something negative about it, right? Just imagine that for a minute. And you had something that maybe you were a little insecure about on your face, like a birthmark or a scar or whatever. And somebody came up to you and said something really negative to you about your face. And it really bothered you. And you talked about it for a week, and you let it ruin your day. But then someone who speaks a completely different language came up to you and said the exact same thing. But it didn't mean shit to you. Because you don't even know and understand what they're saying, right? It's kind of always like when I go to get my nails done, and I'm sitting there, you know, and they're doing the nails, and they're always talking in their other language, and they're like laughing, and they're joking. And I'm always wondering, like, What the hell are they saying? Like, I wonder if they're making fun of anybody sitting here. But you don't really know. But it doesn't matter because you don't understand what the heck they're saying, right? So that just goes to show you in that one specific example that when you had that person come up to you and say something to you about the way that you look about your face, and you're already insecure about it because you have this scar on it, you have his birthmark on it, and it really gets to you. But then someone comes up to you with a completely different language and start saying something to your face. It doesn't get you at all because you have no idea what the hell they're even saying. This just shows that it is us. It's you who puts the meaning into the words. It's us who puts the meaning into the words. It's not the person. It's not the words themselves. It's the meaning that we are giving to those words. So it's what you think of the words and then what you think about yourself.
Words only hurt to the degree that you actually believe them, okay, so for example, I used to have someone who, every single time that this person would get upset, or bothered by something, or just really angry, they would specifically try to say, the most hurtful things that they could to try to get to you. After a while of dealing with that, you realize that this is a bunch of bullshit, I don't believe any of this; this is so stupid, doesn't even affect you at all. Like, it literally does nothing to you. It's like in one ear and out the next. So whatever someone says to you that triggers you, you know, that person saying all those negative things back in the day, it never upset me, it never triggered me. Because I didn't believe it. I knew it was a bunch of BS. And it was just immature and stupid, right? I didn't believe those things about myself. So it didn't get to me. Whatever someone says to you that triggers you is already something that you believe to be true. So just think about that for a second. Whatever someone says to you that triggers you is already something that you believe to be true. That's why it's triggering you. That's why it's upsetting you so much. So it's not the person and their words that are the problem. It's really you who is the problem. But what's really cool is that even though we tend to be the problem to everything that goes on, we can also be the solution to everything as well. And so the faster that we start to learn this and believe this, the faster we can get our life in control. So, for example, you know, if someone came up to me, and I was walking down the street, and they came up to me, and they called me fat, it wouldn't freakin faze me at all. Because I don't view myself as someone who is fat. I don't have that belief about myself. Now, on the other hand, if this is said to someone who's, you know, really self-conscious about their appearance, even if they are not someone who's overweight because there are plenty of people who are not overweight at all, but yet they feel like they are. And this is said to someone like that who's very self-conscious about it; it might really upset them, it might really bother them. So what do you actually believe about yourself is what this comes down to when we're talking about the power of words coming from other people to us. So if someone gets highly offended by something, it's because someone is saying words to them about something that they already believe to be true. And honestly, like, that's really just the definition of what triggered means. But being triggered can be such a gift at the same time. Because what it does is, it can cause you to reflect internally, it can cause you to look within, you know, those triggers are really just signs from the universe showing you where you are not yet free, in your mindset. They're showing you the areas in your life that you need to work on. And this is a place where you are stuck in your own mind, and you can fix it, and you can work on it, and you can grow through this. And it can be beliefs that you have about anything that this can happen to you could be triggered, and have these beliefs about yourself or about, your business, or about your relationships, or the world around you can be about anything. But I love this one quote that Eleanor Roosevelt once said, and she said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” I mean, really write that one down; think about it for a minute. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Even if you aren't consciously deciding, you're still subconsciously deciding, you know, I'm going to give up my power with how I feel based on these words from someone else. That's something that we want to move away from. We always have the power. So I'm going to let other people decide how I feel. And you're doing this sometimes subconsciously, oh, this person said this, I'm going to be mad about it. Now they're in control of my emotions and how I feel. And that's what it comes down to. So you have to be the one to take control of how you feel all the time. And it comes down to the thoughts that you think about yourself the beliefs that you have. And now, if you're someone who wants to work on this, which I know you are because you're listening to this podcast right now, and I so appreciate it, but just go and get my free guide, kathireuter.com/thinkthisnotthat it'll be in the show notes for you. And it will help you literally reframe the thoughts that you think about yourself. And it will list a bunch of the most common limiting beliefs, negative thoughts that we have about ourselves and how to catch it on the spot and think a more empowering belief instead. Because it does start with the thoughts that we think in our head. So go snag that if you haven't done that already.
And so here's the deal between something happening between when something happens, and then you responding to it, there's a space, and it might be just like a 10th of a second of space. But in that space is our chance is your chance to choose our response to choose how we're going to respond to it. Basically, no matter what happens to you, you are always in control for how you respond to it. And if you're just leaving it up to other people, then you weren't in control of your life. But when you learn to truly master your emotions, then no matter what anyone says to you, you'll be able to keep your calm, cool composure. It's not that you're being completely naive to it, and you're just living off in Lala land. You're hearing the words that they're saying to you. But your inner peace will not be disturbed by anyone else. You really are the gatekeeper to your freedom; you are the only one in control, you cannot give your control to someone else. The only one who can control how you think, and how you feel, and how you act as you. So let's really work on this together. Let's stop giving our power away to other people. You get to choose your attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose who you are going to be, and how you're going to act as a person. And you can take a lot of things away from someone. You can take almost everything away from a person, but that power, all of that you can never take away. That's your freedom. And at the end of the day, that's what we all want. So just remember, the words only hurt to the degree that we already believe them. So notice your triggers, be aware to it, take note of it, feel it. But take a step back and think about it. You know, we have to release these beliefs about this so that we can be more free. That's what we want. People want to be free more than anything else in this world.
Honestly, it's why a lot of people want more money. It's not the money that they actually want. It's what they think the money will give them, which is going to be what more freedom, more freedom to do what we want, when we want, with who we want. We want what comes with the money, not the actual money. But most importantly, we want freedom in our minds. Imagine if your mind was this calm, peaceful place, no matter what happened. That's what we should all be working on. And myself included. I work on this all the time. It's not perfect. Trust me. Sometimes it's a shit show up in here. It's normal. All right, it's a work in progress. So this triggering is going to continue to happen. And so, what should we do when someone says something that triggers you? What should we do this what we should do? All right? Number one, you're going to acknowledge it. You're going to make a mental note that, Alright, this is a trigger in me like I can feel myself getting a little heated here. What is going on? And then you're going to journal it out. And you're going to ask yourself, what was it that actually just happened? What the heck just went down? What did that person shine a light on in myself? They made me realize what about yourself like that person made that made you realize what about yourself, and then try to become free from it. And you're only going to do that by continuing to work through these things that trigger you these words from other people. But remember, at the end of the day, we have the power and the control with how we feel with how we think with how we act, and words themselves from other people; we can choose to let them have no power over us. And all boils down to the beliefs that we already have about ourselves. So I hope that you enjoyed today's episode. And, you know, I think that you're awesome. I love you. I appreciate you listening in, and I think it You're amazing. And I will see you the next time. Bye.
