Hey, my friend! What's up? And welcome back to Do Life Big! I hope that you are doing amazing today. We have a fantastic episode. I know you're gonna get a lot of value on it. So let's just dive right in and get this thing going.
Today, what I want to talk to you about is debunking the very dangerous myth that happiness is waiting for you on the other side of your goals. So have you ever said these things to yourself, or maybe you heard somebody else say these things like, “I'll be happy when I reach my first six-figure year” or “I'll be happy when I could finally quit my nine-to-five job and work on my business full time” or “I'll be happy when I land that high profile client I've been pursuing,” “I'll be happy when I have a large following on social media,” “I'll be happy when I launched my first online course and start generating passive income.” All of these, I'll be happy when statements. All of these statements illustrate the fallacy of just believing that happiness is completely dependent on all of these external specific achievements or circumstances. And this mindset can really lead to just a never-ending chase for the next big milestone, that – check it off the list; achieve, achieve, achieve; constantly checking the next big thing off the list, or the goal board or the vision board or whatever it is. And it's often at the cost of enjoying the present moment and just appreciating the journey. So this whole “I'll be happy when” mindset is completely flawed. And by the end of this episode, you're going to be able to understand why chasing happiness in this way is a complete misbelief. And you're going to learn how to find true fulfillment in your entrepreneurial journey. And you'll also be equipped with the mindset shifts and strategies to start to cultivate that happiness today, which is just going to go on to lead to a more balanced and thriving business and life.
So let's get started here; we're going to talk about this first idea that I want to discuss with you, which is all about “Why we actually keep chasing happiness.” So have you ever heard of the hedonic treadmill? Well, basically, it's this idea that we quickly adapt to our circumstances, causing happiness to plateau once we actually achieve a goal. Have you ever had that happen? Right? You were so excited for this big thing to happen in your business or in your life, this big goal, and you've been working so hard and so long for, and then it finally happened. And you were so excited and like on cloud nine and fired up, and then it just quickly goes away. Right? So here's how the hedonic treadmill actually works. You see, our brains are actually wired to adapt to new situations. And then, as we go on and achieve our goals, we quickly become accustomed to the new normal, like this is just normal, which then leads to a decrease in happiness as that initial excitement fades. You know, And I'm sure you can think of a time where you're like, “Oh! it was so exciting, it was so much fun! It was so great then, but it only lasted a certain amount of time and now it's gone.” And actually, there was a study by Berkman and Campbell back in 1971 which found that “Both a lottery winners and paraplegics returned to their baseline levels of happiness within only one year of their life-changing events.” And what this whole hedonic treadmill phenomenon can lead to really is just a never ending cycle of just chasing, chasing, chasing, chasing bigger and better and more ambitious goals in the belief that the next one is going to be the one that finally brings us that lasting happiness. And it's simply not true.
I'm going to share a story with you because I knew this entrepreneur. And she was so ambitious. And she had always dreamed of building a successful online coaching business. And she believed that achieving her financial and professional goals would bring her lasting happiness. And she was a hard worker. And she worked for years and years and years on her business. She worked hard, and she put in so much work and so much dedication into her business. And she finally reached her first big huge milestone, which was earning six figures. So she finally reached this big milestone of earning six figures. And initially, when it happened, she was ecstatic. Like she was pumped, she was fired up. She was so excited about her accomplishment because she had been working so hard for this accomplishment. She had been putting in so much time, and effort, and energy. But she believed that she had found the happiness that she was after by achieving this goal. But the only problem was, after about a couple of months, her excitement started to fade. As now she became used to this six-figure income-earning status, she found herself just feeling really unfulfilled. She's found herself feeling exactly like she felt before. Unfulfilled, like she felt before she had even reached that six-figure goal. And so what did she do? In response to that, and going back to feeling unfulfilled, she now set her sights on the next big milestone. What do you think that was? It was to go on now and build a seven-figure business, right? Because she believed that now, well, if I get to seven figures, then I will finally find the happiness that I wanted. So she got to work. And she doubled down, and she ten-x everything she was doing. And she was working, working, and working. She was putting in so much time and effort and energy, and she was sacrificing time away from her family and her friendships. And her self-care took a toll in this big process of trying to reach this next big goal, which she thought was going to bring happiness to her – true happiness and fulfillment. But then, guess what happened? She finally reached her goal. But that happiness that she had anticipated was extremely short-lived once again. And so, as the effects of the hedonic treadmill took hold, she found herself in the same emotional place, as before. Feeling completely unfulfilled, and completely unhappy.
And this relentless pursuit of happiness through goal achievement took a huge toll on her mental health and on her relationships. And it was just a downward spiral. She had tons of burnout, she was anxious, so she was filled with so much anxiety. She had strain on all of her relationships with her loved ones because of the fact that her sole focus was on just her business and the importance of reaching that goal to bring her happiness. And it really wasn't until she finally even acknowledged this whole fallacy of the “I'll be happy when” mindset that she finally began to work on finding happiness in the present moment. This is key finding happiness in the present moment. And when she realized this, she started prioritizing things like self-care, and she started taking time to nurture the relationships in her life with the people who meant so much to her. She started setting new goals, not just goals that were way out there that looked good on paper because she wanted the recognition, but goals that aligned with her values, which then allowed her to break free from this hedonic treadmill. And so many people get stuck on this hedonic treadmill. And then, she was able to find true fulfillment in her business and in her life.
So what can you do here? Here are a few strategies that you can actually implement to counteract the effects of this hedonic treadmill so that you don't go down that path. You can do things like set more meaningful goals. You can do things like practice gratitude. You can do things like, find happiness in the journey itself, rather than solely focusing on what that end result is. We're so busy looking at the end that we're not enjoying the moment, and we're not enjoying the ride. And we're not enjoying all the parts of the journey, really focusing on being present, right here, right today, in what you're doing, which is going to now lead me on to this next big idea of the importance of actually being present.
It is so important to practice mindfulness and to be present in the moment rather than focusing on the future achievements. There's this quote by Lao Tzu, and it says, “If you are depressed, you're living in the past. If you're anxious, you're living in the future. If you are at peace, you're living in the present.” And really, what this quote is saying and teaching us is that our emotional well-being is directly connected to our ability to live in the present moment. And by being present, we can find that peace. We can find that happiness instead of getting caught up in the anxieties of the future or, even worse, the regrets of our past. So if you want to start to incorporate mindfulness into your daily routines, things like practicing I said before, practicing gratitude, and just reflecting on three things, three things that you're grateful for every day, can make a huge difference. Or maybe you start some meditation. Now, you don't need to do like a long guided meditation session here, right, but like something simple, like five to 10 minutes a day of just guided meditation. And if you can try to get yourself involved and engaged in activities that actually require you to be fully present in the moment, things like cooking, or painting, or gardening or doing a puzzle, all of those activities will keep you present in the moment, and they will help train your mind to focus on the present.
The next big idea that we're going to dive into is all focused around aligning your goals with your values. And aligning your goals with your personal values, is what's going to lead to that greater sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. See, here's the thing. Goals are often set based on external factors such as, “Hey, you know, what does society expect of me, or financial gains or the desire for more recognition, right?” But when goals are primarily motivated by all of those external factors, achieving them does not bring the fulfillment and satisfaction that you think it's going to. We need to focus on our personal values because these are the things that are most important to us. And then these things are so important to us; they shape our priorities and decision-making. So thinking about really here, like what matters most to you, like, what matters most to you, and what brings you happiness and purpose, whether it's family or integrity, or creativity, personal growth, all of these things, whatever it is that's important to you, is going to help you align your goals with your values. And so, maybe you just need to spend some time evaluating and adjusting your goals; you might need to make some adjustments to your goals so that they're in more of an alignment with you and your life right now. And that's okay if you need to do that. Make the time to do that because chasing the next big thing in hopes that it's going to bring you happiness is not the answer.
We have to know that we are worthy and deserving of happiness right now, in this current state. Roy Disney has a great quote, and he says, “It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.” And it is so true! It is so much easier to make decisions in life and in your business when you know what your values are and what matters most to you. When your goals are aligned with your values, you're going to find it so much easier to determine the right course of action in your business or in your life. It's going to be like a no-brainer to you. So check out your own goals. Look at them carefully. And just ask yourself, “Hey, are they in alignment with what my core values are?” And you may be you might need to step back and kind of write it out. “What are my core values? What matters most to me?” And go from there, which is now leading us into my last idea of this episode of cultivating a growth mindset.
I'm big on this. I've always been big on this. And you should too because a growth mindset will really emphasizes learning and personal development, personal growth over simply just achieving goals, right? And there was actually a study done back in 2013 by Burnett that found that “A growth mindset positively influence an individual's ability to cope with stress, which led to better well-being.” And that research also suggested that “those people with a growth mindset were more likely to adopt adaptive coping strategies when faced with big life stressors, which also led to better mental health and an overall well-being.” So it makes a difference whether you have a growth mindset or not. And if you want to develop a growth mindset in business and in personal life, it's going to involve you embracing challenges; for sure, there is no way around it. It's going to require you understanding that you need to learn from your failures. And it's going to mean that you need to continuously seek self-growth, self-improvement.
So here are a couple of tips to help you cultivate a growth mindset. If you're someone who's like, I really need to work on this; this is definitely the area that I need to work on. But here's the first one, start to embrace challenges. Just view any kind of challenge that comes into your life as an opportunity to learn and grow, period.
The second one is learning from your feedback. Actively go out and ask people for constructive criticism, be open to constructive criticism, and then use that to make improvements in your business or in your life.
The third tip cultivating a growth mindset is start celebrating your effort, not the results that you're getting, focus on the effort that you're putting into a task, rather than just the outcome. Right, you can praise yourself, and you can praise others for hard work for dedication, regardless of the results that they're getting, right? And this shift right here is really going to help you develop that resilience and that motivation that you need.
The fourth tip is reframe your setbacks and failures. So instead of viewing all your setbacks and all your failures, as the end of the road or making it mean that you're the failure, and you're not meant to do this, or you're not cut out to do this, see them as a learning experience and really look at, “Hey, like what went wrong here? What could I have done better? What can I improve on?” Constantly do those things, and then use those answers to just make better decisions so that you can avoid going down that path again and making those mistakes. Everything is a learning opportunity, everything!
The fifth tip is to really just adopt this love for learning, adopting a lifelong learning approach. And constantly seeking opportunities to expand your knowledge and to grow your knowledge and your skills, right. Doing things like going to workshops, or reading books, or listening to personal development or listening to podcasts like this one right here, right, any kind of a course that can help you in your business or in your personal life.
The next tip to help you with a growth mindset is surrounding yourself with other growth-minded individuals. This is so important. This is like so important. You really got to spend time with people who also share a growth mindset. And people who are committed to this personal and professional growth and personal professional development. Their positive attitudes and habits are going to really inspire you and I are going to motivate you. And it's going to help you adopt a similar mindset.
And then the last tip to help you cultivate a growth mindset is practicing self compassion. And I know that this one can be so hard because we can often be our own worst critics are our own worst enemies. But we have to be kind to ourselves. So be kind to yourself. Be kind to yourself when you face setbacks, when things don't go the way that you had planned when you have failures, right? Just recognize that everyone goes through these challenges. Everyone makes mistakes; we’re only freaking human! And just give yourself time and empathy. And treat yourself with understanding, and then use those experiences that you're going through to just fuel your growth.
If you can go and incorporate those seven tips into your daily life, then you will gradually start to develop more of a growth mindset. And when you do that, that's only going to enhance your business. your personal life, and everything else you got going on in your life because we're all busy; we got all the things going on. And it's going to make you feel such a greater sense of purpose and satisfaction, and happiness overall.
So, just to kind of recap this episode here, because there was a lot to it. But, let's just backtrack here for a second; we talked about the hedonic treadmill. Right? We talked about that. We talked about the importance of being present in the moment. We talked about aligning goals of values and cultivating a growth mindset and tips to do that. So what I want you to do is now that you've got all this information, which was so much good stuff, I just want you to take one action step today that will help you shift your focus from the “I'll be happy when” to fallacy and start finding happiness in your journey. What's that one thing that you can take away from today's episode that you can take action on and you can start to implement into your life right now? Maybe it's practicing mindfulness or just evaluating your goals again and making sure that they're aligned with your core values. Or maybe you need to just work on developing more of a growth mindset. It's going to be different for everyone. But what is it for you?
And just remember, true happiness comes from within, and it's available to you right now. Not when you reach this goal, not when you have a certain amount of money. Right now you are worthy and deserving of happiness right now. And you need to know that.
So I hope you enjoyed today's episode. If it was a good one, share it on social media, tag me on Instagram at @katherinereuter. I would love it if you could spread the word to more people. And thanks for tuning in. You know, I love you. I think you're awesome. And I will see you the next time. All right, see ya!
