Hey, my friend what's going on, and welcome back to Do Life Big. I am so excited to have you here today. Today, our episode is going to be pretty eye opening for you. And we're going to be spending some time here talking about happiness. And I think by the end of this episode, you're definitely going to have a breakthrough here for sure.
You know, as I was laying in bed a couple of nights ago, and I was just thinking about the holiday. And I was thinking about, you know, being here, right now, as a mom with three little children, ages 10, eight, and three and a half. And just spending my days and my time with them. You know, I was really thinking about how being home together right now with them, like are the most special days of my life. I know, it can be totally crazy, don't get me wrong. It is it can be really chaotic. And there's stressful times for sure. 100%.
But I'm also really aware that right here right now are literally the best days of my life. Because all the kids are here, they're little, they're so excited all the time, especially thinking about the holiday and how excited they get on that day and to you know, run out to the Christmas tree and open up their presence. And they're just filled with so much innocence, and happiness. And it's just such an awesome time. And I'm living that right now. Because we're all here together in the same home as a family.
And I was just thinking about it when I was laying in bed the other night, and I was going through it all in my mind. And I was seeing their cute little faces and their happiness and the joy and just that all that excitement and energy. And it just made me feel so good and so happy. I love those thoughts and the way that it makes me feel just that pure joy and happiness. And I just was laying there in bed being like, Aha, right here right now is seriously what it's all about. You know, it really is. And I was loving the way that it made me feel because I was thinking those feel good thoughts, right.
But then all of a sudden, I could just feel my whole mind kind of start to drift and wander off and start to go off the beaten path. I could see myself now starting to see this story change in my mind, I started to now go from having those feel good thoughts about the present moment right here right now and how grateful I am how happy I am to all of a sudden thinking about how fast the years are flying by. And how before I know it, these years of the kids being so innocent and excited for Christmas are going to be gone. And this will all just be a memory. And I started thinking about how Landon is 10. And before you know it, he'll be in college and then he's going to be moved out and how my last child is already three and a half. And they'll never be another baby like he is the last one.
And then I could feel this happy, fulfilled, good feeling that I had. At the beginning when I first laid down in bed thinking about right here right now in the present moment. I could feel all of that all of a sudden, just get completely squashed and feel as if like a Mack truck had run over it. Like a Mack truck had run over everything. And I could just feel that stress and anxiety and fear and worry start to creep in.
I could feel the changes in just the way that I was breathing and just my breath. I was literally starting to make myself feel like crap. Because of these thoughts. I was choosing to put into my mind the thoughts about loss and what I would be missing out on and this phase of my life being gone. Right?
And you know, people will always ask me, How do you stay so happy? Like how do you do it? And I can tell you this You have to fight pretty damn hard every day for your happiness. If I'm not paying attention to my thoughts, then my mind will drift. And we'll go to a place of anxiety and worry, and what ifs, and it will consume me. It's a fight we have within, I want to be happy, I want to be present here in the moment, I want to truly enjoy my time in the moment, and not just my time in that specific moment. But my time here on Earth.
Being afraid, you know, feeling all that friction, being annoyed, fearing the worst. That's a whole separate kind of energy that I really don't want to consume my mind. When it comes to happiness. It's not just about doing the things that make you happy, right? Like people will always say, and I'll say it too, because it is a really important part of your happiness is do what makes you happy, right? Going for the walk, making sure that you're getting out with your friends, more spending more quality time, with your spouse, doing that hobby, that brings you joy, that you haven't been doing all those things, yes, do them, they will make you happy, do all of those things.
But the bigger piece is to be aware of what your thoughts are, you know, we're trying to be present on the holidays, or we're trying to be present while we spend time with our kids. But then our mind is drifting off to the things that we're worried about. And then that's when all that stress seeps into our mind. And we're in a moment where we are supposed to feel this happiness and this joy and this fulfillment, right? We're supposed to feel this peace and be present. But we really aren't. Because now we've let our mind and our thoughts run away. And it's just filled with fear.
And you know, sometimes we don't even realize that we are doing this, like this happens to me too, still. It just happened the other night, when I was laying in bed, like I shared the beginning of this episode. We're not even aware and realizing that we are doing this, but just constantly looking for what is wrong, instead of just allowing ourselves to enjoy the moment and just tell ourselves that, hey, you know what - things are going to be okay? Like, it's going to be fine. It's going to work out. And then we literally sabotage ourselves. And I was sabotaging myself laying in bed the other night having these thoughts go through my mind about the future, and not having my kids around anymore and missing these days that I'm living in right now.
Listen, it doesn't really matter why we start to have these not so good feelings that causes stress and worry, like, for example, I say this in this way, right? Maybe, like you don't know why you think these things. Maybe it was just the way that you were brought up. Maybe somebody in your family was like this, and you learn to and adopted this way of thinking from them. Because that's what you experienced. You know, you had a family member, maybe that who was like this, or you're surrounded by someone like this. And so you are not like that. Now that really matters. I think we can all agree that we just want this way of thinking gone, right? No one wants to think those thoughts.
We don't want to be sabotaged. We don't want to feel bad. We don't want to be consumed by fear, and worry and anxiety and stress. But I gotta tell you, you have to be on a mission to be a happier person. And this is why working on yourself is so so important. It's the number one most important thing, working on yourself, working on your mind, working on your thoughts, working on the way that you talk to yourself when no one is around those thoughts that are in your head. When you're in the car. And you're driving to work and no one's in the car with you. You've just dropped the kids off at school. Where does yoaaur mind go? What are those thoughts?
And listen, we also know that there are some people who they have everything in the world, right? Like looking from the outside in. It's like, man, they are like sitting on the top of the world. They have all the money. They have all the love from others. They're doing what they love. They're surrounded by love. Right? But they are still miserable. We have to fight to not be like that. And also realize that no thing, no amount of money, and no person is responsible for our happiness. This is something we have to take full responsibility for when every single day we wake up and we look in the mirror, we need to tell ourselves, that story that's going to serve us we have to choose those thoughts that are going to make us happy. We've got to own it.
This is your wake up call right here right now. You've got to be mindful, and you've got to direct your thoughts. We all deserve to be happy and to feel that happiness. It's all about the way that we talk to ourselves. Everything comes down to that and we have to stop creating and inventing all these What if worst case scenarios because nothing good ever comes of that instead of consuming ourselves with a story of what if it doesn't work out? Or what if this happens? Or what if this bad situation, you know, happens?
How about like, well, whatever works out? What if this goes well, what if this is the change that completely changes the entire trajectory of our future for our family, choose to go that way, be mindful of it.
So there's this quote, that I really love, that I heard a while ago, that I think is so important, you should write this down. But it is be so focused on bettering yourself that you have no time to worry or complain about anyone or anything else, really, because when you are so focused on bettering yourself, you don't have energy or time for any of that other stuff. All of it's just a bunch of baloney, none of it matters.
So how can we take now what we've just heard, and just kind of increase our happiness just a little bit every day? Listen, maybe you are doing those things, right? Where you've made those changes were like, you know, I need to start doing things that are gonna make me happy. I need to start making sure that I have a girls night, I need to make sure that I start having a date night with my husband, once a week, I'm going to put that into place. I need to make sure that, you know, I do some paddleboarding because I love that. And it calms me and it's relaxing. And it just brings me joy. Maybe you've figured out exactly what those things are that you can do. And that's great, right.
I'm going to give you three ways to increase your happiness that you can start to implement right now into your day to day.
Number one is - first, you need to recognize that you are the one putting these thoughts in your head. And you don't have to keep thinking like this or feeding yourself these lines of BS anymore. Honestly, just having that awareness first is your step one, that is your step one.
Number two, that's going to help you be more happy is by getting all the crap and garbage out of your head, and literally burning it. I'm not kidding you like I have done this before, at retreats that I've hosted. This is also a really big part of my signature program, the Mindset Accelerator that I do with my students, where we spend the time writing down as much as possible that has been stored in our brain that has been holding us back that hasn't been serving us the BS lines of lies that are keeping us where we are, that are making us feel like crap that are self sabotaging us and our happiness, and you just spend some time writing down as much as possible, it's going to be uncomfortable, and it's going to be scary. But that's why you freaking burn it. All right, and you're doing this for you, no one is going to see this, no one is going to read this. However, you can't keep battling these inner negative thoughts that are coming into your mind and then expect to truly be a happy person.
So get out that piece of paper and spend some time writing it down. Let yourself feel the emotion. Let yourself feel the pain. If there's any cry if you need to get out all the junk, know that you're doing this for you. Because it's going to help you be a more happy person and live a more happy fulfilling life. And then crumble it up into a ball and burn it and watch it burn. And watch all the BS lines of all the lies that you've been telling yourself. Go away. That's step two.
The third step that I want you to do to help yourself be more happy is ask yourself, How can I make this simple? How can this be easy? Because everything can be easy. Everything can be easy, versus always thinking how hard this can be or is right now. This is literally how you train your subconscious mind. To think differently. This is how you reprogram your subconscious mind.
So if you're someone where maybe you struggle, you're like, this is so hard for me. Why does this take so long? Why is this so much work and so difficult for me? No, I whatever situation you have going on right now, in your life at the top of a new piece of paper I want you to write, how can I make this simple? How can I make this easy? Right?
Maybe you're someone that goes completely overboard for birthday parties for some unknown reason. You don't even have joy doing it. You just feel like you have to do it like you have this pressure on you for things to be perfect and to over achieve and do more and more and more like it's never good enough. Okay, if that's causing you stress and anxiety, how can you make it more simple? And write it down? You've got to look for a different answer to a question versus thinking the same things you've always thought.
So where does your mind go right now when I asked you that question, how can you make it more simple? Where does your attention go on? pay attention to that. So this is how you create a new internal language to yourself. And this is your everything I'm telling you.
Happiness is a choice. This is not just a bunch of BS, right? You want to be content, you want to feel love, you want to let love in, you want to be present, you want to enjoy yourself, you can choose to change the way that you're talking to yourself. You can choose to reprogram your subconscious, slowly, day by day, through these new habits that you're going to implement into your life. Starting right now, today, you can start with these three things, of how to make yourself have more happiness and be a happier person, right.
I'll say the steps one more time, in case you missed it, and you want to write it down. But number one is you want to just make sure that you are aware of the BS lines that you're telling yourself, just be aware of it. You're aware of those thoughts. Number two, is write all that garbage down on a piece of paper, get it all out of your system, get it out of your mind and burn it and watch it burn. And number three, ask yourself on a new piece of paper. How can I make this more simple with whatever it is right now that you're going through in your life right now that seems unbearable, and it's causing you so much stress and worry and fear? How can you make it simple? How can this be easy, and spend some time writing it down.
This is why just doing the things that make you happy. It's not good enough, it's not going to cut it. It goes way deeper than that. And it always comes back to your thoughts. And I know maybe we haven't even realized that we have been doing this. But we're going to take the responsibility and we're going to change it now. We're going to get that control back. And we're going to start a new chapter of our life today. A new happier chapter of our life!
I hope this was a little bit of a wake up call for you and I hope you choose to pick up that pen and write a whole new happier chapter of your life because you deserve it and you are worthy of it. And I know you can do it and I know you have it in you so thanks for being here. tag me on Instagram if you love this episode, have an awesome day you know I love ya keep crushing life and I will see you the next time on Do Life Big. See ya!
