Hey, my friend what is up and welcome back to Do Life Big. I am so excited to have you here right now, especially as we wrap up 2022. And we go into 2023. And you're really spending your time right now thinking about how you want 2023 to go for you? How do you want it to end? Do you want it to look different than 2022? Did? Do you want it to be more improved? Do you want it to be better.
So we're going to talk about how we can actually manifest what we actually want in our life and for you and for your family in 2023. So the cool thing is that you are busy, right? This second you are rewiring your mind! Literally every idea that you think about doing every thought is rewiring your mind.
So for example, if you're thinking about starting a new job, or you're starting thinking about starting a side business, but your inner voice is filled with self doubt, and limiting beliefs, and fear, all of that is actually how you manifest shit that you don't want to happen. The reason that you say you feel stuck, that is why - it's because of that inner dialogue that you have. And if you want to do something for you, or you have a pull, or you have some kind of an itch, then that is your reason why you should freakin do it. And that's the only reason that you need.
You don't need any justification from anyone else. Just that desire that you have on your heart, that feeling that pull is all you need. But yet, we have this conflict inside right now. Right? Maybe you're thinking about everything that you want to do. And you're getting filled with self doubt. And you know, it's deep down the right move that you should make, but just you're getting pulled in different directions, and you're confused. And there's a lot of conflict.
The key is that you have to learn how to be able to shut down, what I like to call that little bitch voice that's inside your own head, talking you out of doing the things that you truly want to do that have been on your heart. And if you've been trying to pursue something for years, and your inner voice is constantly talking you out of it and constantly replaying fear, then the only thing that is really holding you back from pursuing that thing is yourself. Most of the times we are the only thing that is standing in our own way.
Remember, your brain is a funny thing. It doesn't like change. It wants to keep you safe, it wants to keep you comfy. It wants to keep you in that routine of what you've been doing, even if you're miserable, and you don't want to be doing it. So how can we shut down that inner bitch voice that stops us from pursuing what we have on our heart?
So the first step is really being aware that it's happening, right, just being aware and acknowledging that every time you think about that thing that you want to do, or that thing that you want to pursue, your immediate inner voice is something negative is trying to talk you out of it. So being aware of it. And then you have to shut down the negative self talk because it's your internal dialogue that's holding you back. I really want you to understand that in here that it is truly the thoughts that you are telling yourself that is stopping you from doing the things that you want to do.
So let's give an example right here. I grew up my whole entire life in Massachusetts, right and I live in Florida right now. And I've been down here for five and a half years. But for the first 35 years of my life, I was in Massachusetts, my whole entire family was there. All my friends were there, everybody and everything that I ever knew that I was familiar with was there. When I had this idea that I wanted to move down to Florida and leave all of that I could have chosen to focus on being scared and focus on oh my gosh, like what if it doesn't work out? What if I don't make any friends here and meet new friends here? What if I can't find a good school system for the kids? I could have chose wasn't to focus on all the reasons of why it wouldn't work out and literally talked myself out of doing that move five and a half years ago. But instead, I thought of all the ways that it would be awesome. I thought about all the ways that it would work out. I saw it working out for me. And in the back of my mind, I always said to myself, well, guess what, I want to do this. And it's on my heart. And yeah, that's a big ballsy move. But I really want to do this. And you know what, if it goes to hell in a handbasket, and I don't like it, for some reason, then I can always move back. But this is what I want to do. And this is what I want to do now. So I'm going to do it.
So what is something that you have been thinking about, that you've had that itch and that feeling to do? What dream would you pursue, if you knew that it would work out for you? What is that thing? If you knew truthfully, that it would work out?
We're about to close out 2022. So if you want the end of 2023, to look different than this year, than we have to start by changing the way that we talk to ourselves, what do you want to manifest for the year of 2023, I'm going to give you three simple steps right now on how you can actually manifest exactly what you want for 2023. So either pause this, and pull over and write this down, if you're in the car, or make sure you go back to this episode to the spot, and get down your pen and paper and write these things, three things down.
Step one, is you have to tell the truth and really declare what the heck it is that you want. Not what anybody else wants, not what you think your husband wants, or your friends want for you. What do you want, and be honest about it, it won't work if you're lying to yourself, or if you're unclear, and you're fuzzy about what you even want. Okay? So what is it that you want, and just be honest with yourself.
If all you ever do is think about that big thing, that big end goal, the thing that's 10 years from now, and then you just sit there, and you look at that, it's going to feel so damn far away, it's not going to motivate you. Because you keep being reminded of how far away you are from those things that you want. That's actually how you can become demotivated. You can't just visualize and think about the end picture.
You got to first focus on the smaller things that need to happen. So that you're motivated to take the action, you have to visualize the steps and the actions that you need to take along the way to reach that bigger vision first, this train your mind to take the right actions. And it keeps you excited. And it keeps you motivated. And it brings your confidence up, because you're doing these smaller steps and you're achieving them. And you're celebrating them along the way. And each time that you achieve that little thing that you need to do and you take that little action step, you're getting closer and closer to that big end goal that you want. So that's why you need to start small first.
Now, listen, don't take this the wrong way. I am not saying that you shouldn't have big end goals or big vision in your mind, you absolutely should. But you need to first be focusing on the smaller little goals that you need to hit along the way that will lead up to you reaching that big end goal first, right, you got it. Alright. So that thing that you've been itching to do, what are the steps that you need to take? What are those small actions that you need to do and identify those things and write them down?
So I want to think back to, for example, 2009, when I ran the Boston Marathon with my husband, the steps that I had to take before I actually achieved running across the finish line, right? I would visualize putting my shoes on, every time that we'd go for a training run, running on the training run with my husband, when no one else was around, when there was no crowd cheering for me. When there was no finish line. I visualized and saw myself getting up and running when it was cold outside, or it was raining. Or on the days where I felt tired and didn't really feel like doing a 16 mile training run. I visualized myself putting my little energy gummies in my pockets, my pocket belt that I would have, and having it all around me so I could keep my energy up for the run. I saw myself getting out of bed every day, just putting my clothes on that I would be wearing for that run. Putting, you know, the five o'clock AM alarm clock goes off so I could get up and get this run done.
If you train your mind to see yourself doing all those little mundane things first, even when it's inconvenient, and you see yourself doing those little things. When you're tired or you've lost the desire to then you've already felt the resistance which is great because your brain is totally prepared for it. So that when those situations actually happen in real life, you know, you won't let it derail you, because you've already mastered it in your mind, you've already replayed it over and over and over again.
So, step one, for you being able to manifest what you want and 2023 is, get clear, first of all what you want and be honest with yourself.
Step two, stop focusing on just the big end goal and focus on the simple steps that you need to take first.
And step three, is to feel what it will be like to work for that dream, literally feel everything, even the times it doesn't work out when things go wrong, and rehearse it over and over and over again, in your mind.
I wanted to share one of my students that I had worked with that I had mentored a while ago, she wanted to also relocate from where she was living, and her fear was doing it. But then saying to herself, why did I do this? Like, these are her exact words right here? What if I can't find a job? Or I don't like it? What if I can't make any new friends? What if I regret this decision, and when she was talking like this, and I know we can all relate to this, because we do this all the time. We're literally letting our fears rehearse the worst case scenario. And this is how you actually manifest something that you don't want, when you're training your mind to work against you. And that's what she was doing. She was training her mind to work against her. Every time you look at that thing that you want, and you do this, it makes you stop. it paralyzes you, right? I'm sure you can relate, try thinking about it being great.
Try saying to yourself, but what if it does work out. Because if you're going to spend all this time creating all these fake scenarios of why it's not going to work out, then you might as well spend the energy and time thinking about all the ways that it could work out, think about making that move, and moving from, let's just say, for example, New Hampshire, down to Florida, and think about making that move and calling your mom and talking to her about your move that you made. And imagine the conversation, when she asked you how's it going for you visualize actually leaving your new apartment, all by yourself, and going to that event, meeting new people for the very first time, see yourself making new friends, meeting them for dinner, or for a coffee at the local coffee shop up the road? The new job that you just got working for a marketing company, for example, see all those little things. But most importantly, see yourself winning? Can we see ourselves winning more, please?
I had another student say to me, how can I get over imposter syndrome? While I'm also trying to manifest winning and reaching these goals that I want to achieve? Like how can I get over that impostor syndrome. And here's the thing with that, because we have all thought this or something similar. When you're new at something, and you're learning something for the first time, you're not faking it, you're not an impostor. You're just a student, and you're new, and you're learning. And that's good. We should be always learning we should be constantly challenging ourselves, to learn new things, all the things that you know, right now, once you didn't know, and you had to learn them. And you were a student at that, too. You've never done this before. So of course, your self doubt is going to be there. The things you need to do, you can figure out though, and guess what, there is always YouTube and Google to help you figure anything out.
I remember when I started my online health and fitness business. Nearly nine years ago, I knew nothing about business. I knew nothing about social media. I knew Zippo about any of that. But YouTube was my best friend. So picture yourself doing the work.
Picture yourself taking those small steps. And if for some reason you can't imagine yourself, then guess what? Imagine someone else who's already doing it. Who was already doing that thing that you want to do? That person who's already having success. Imagine them going through those motions and actions.
And the last question that I want to share here from someone was they said well, how can I manifest things happening to me without feeling selfish, you know, just feels kind of selfish, asking for something for me. And I don't have to give anything in return. Like you feel they felt like they had to owe something in return. Like how can I get just get get this without giving anything back? And guess what?
You for sure are going to have to owe someone something. You know what you're gonna have to owe them. You're gonna have to owe them the work. You're gonna have to owe yourself and the universe God or whatever you want to call it. You're going to owe them the work to take the action and to do the work. At some point, you've got to quit that job that you can't stand, or you've got to end the relationship that's not working out for you, are you gonna get up off your butt and start exercising because you know that you need to make a change and be healthier. But guess what that is where the magic comes in. You owe yourself the actions, the effort, and the work that's required.
You can't just close your eyes and imagine all this shit happening. Right? You can't, you don't have a genie in a bottle. This isn't Aladdin, where you're asking for these wishes, you simply just declare what you want. Be specific with it. And then you are going to really, annoyingly wake up each day, playing one freakin brick at a time with one simple action every single day. It's not going to be easy. But you will do it. And you will do this day by day, week by week, month by month, and you will push yourself to do the steps. This is literally how you pave the path to your dreams.
And now five to 10 years later, after that, you are sitting on the Lanai of your beach house watching the sunset, you know, a big mistake that I want to share with you. So that way you don't make this mistake as well.
A big mistake that I've seen a lot of online entrepreneurs that I've mentored make is that they get really impatient. I cannot tell you how many people have given up or quit, right, as they're about to turn the corner and start to see the success they've been wanting. They started to see maybe some success, start to earn some amount of money. But then things didn't continue to happen as fast as they wanted. And then they lost patience. And then they think it's just never going to happen for them. And I could see how close they were because I've already walked that path, but they hadn't. So they didn't understand that they actually were seeing success, and that they were getting closer.
It's kind of like that picture of the two miners. Have you ever seen this before? I'm sure you know, I'm talking about but if not, anyways, there's a picture of these two miners, ones on the top mining, and the one is down below them. And they're trying to get to the diamonds. And it shows one guy, literally one pickaxe away from just digging in there and getting the diamond. And then it shows the other one turning around right there and going the other direction, because they've chiseled away for so long, and they haven't reached the result that they want. So they just think that they're not going to get it. But if he had just swung one more time, he would have reached the diamonds. And that's what happens sometimes with people, they just give up on their dreams. But they are literally right there. And I don't want you to do that. They make the mistake, because it's getting hard, or it's tedious. Or maybe they're getting frustrated, or it's just taking them longer than they expected that they're just never going to get there.
And here's the deal. Right? Write this down. Remember this, when it comes to achieving any of your goals or dreams.
There's no timeline, you have to give up being like total OCD about when is this going to happen, I want it now. There is no when you have to stay focused on why you're doing what you're doing, and the how. Because when the going gets tough, you have to be the type of person who keeps going. This is why I always say how important it is to visualize the process of reaching your goals. But to not just visualize it working out, but to also visualize the things that might not go as planned or might not work out and to visualize yourself working through those hard times. So that when it actually does go sideways, you've already rehearsed this in your mind over and over again, you've trained your brain to not give up during those times, but to keep going.
And when it comes to the real big stuff that you want in life. You have to be honest and ask yourself, are you willing to work five to 10 years for that beach house for that mountain home for the million dollars in the bank, to get that PhD to maybe heal some kind of trauma that you went through in the past to get that happiness that you've been searching for your whole life? Are you willing to commit to this for five to 10 years?
Because I can tell you that there is nothing more fulfilling in life than chipping away at your dreams because that's what gives your life meaning. It's not achieving actual goals. That gives your life meaning. It's working toward them that does working towards something bigger. That's where the secret sauce is my friend. Visualize the knows the time and effort that you have to put in is not going to be anything sexy or glamorous. It's not easy. And there are going to be times where you feel like giving up and this is what separates stop people from the ones who achieve their dreams and the ones who don't. So once you figure out what it is that you want, please for the love of God, be patient. train your brain to be the person who works through the hard times, and you will eventually make it happen. keep seeing yourself chipping away at it, see yourself working to make the money, manifest all the hard, tedious stuff that will lead you there.
Right now I'm working to achieve the goal of having my own Do Life Big studio in a skyrise where I'm looking out over the ocean. Train your mind to make your big dreams a reality. You really can trick your own brain. It doesn't know the difference between real or make believe. And I think that's so freakin awesome.
Stop letting your fears wire your mind instead of your dreams. Stop that BS right now it ends today it ends right this second. Don't let your parents or self doubt get into your brain. You're a winner. Let your dreams wire your mind. You will see yourself walking step by step on the way to creating that life that you want. I know it and I believe in you. So thanks for being here today. I hope that you enjoyed this episode. And I will see you the next time on Do Life Big keep crushing life. You know I love you!
